Many of us may feel that we would immediately recognize addiction in our spouse, our child, our best friend, and especially ourselves. However, at least 48 million Americans are living with substance use disorder (SUD) right now, and not all of them are seeking treatment. Countless more deal with behavioral addictions that are either dismissed, avoided, or downplayed by families and friends. It’s actually much easier than most of us think to cast aside an addiction as a non-issue—especially when treatment feels inconvenient or unnecessary.
And treatment may appear unnecessary in thousands of addiction cases. Many people addicted to heroin, for example, maintain employment, keep up with their bills, and manage to behave in ways that obscure their addiction from those closest to them (at least for a time). At St. Joseph Institute in Port Matilda, we see many high-functioning sufferers of SUD in both our residential treatment program and our intensive outpatient program.
What’s High-Functioning Addiction?
Someone with high-functioning addiction seems able to balance their SUD with life’s daily responsibilities. They still manage to show up to work and perform well. They may be able to continue parenting well, provide for family members and themselves financially, or appear totally sober even when they’re high.
The problem with the term “high-functioning addiction” is that it can be used to avoid accountability. After all, if you can still function, why get treatment? The problem is that addiction will only worsen with time. Eventually, the consequences to employment, relationships, and health will be unavoidable. This is why some suggest a new term: currently functioning addict.
What Are The Common Signs of Hidden SUD?
All of the following indicators are from the context of the workplace, but they can easily apply to life outside of work as well:
- Chronic absence: whether it’s frequently calling off work, habitually canceling plans, or suddenly disappearing from family life, absenteeism is a telltale sign of addiction.
- Growing excuses: if you’re hearing or reading excuses for the chronic absences and thinking they sound elaborate, fishy, irrational, or disjointed—like gaps in events or causes that don’t seem to align with specific actions—it’s probably an excuse to cover up drug or alcohol abuse.
- Uncharacteristic impulsivity or carelessness: when missed deadlines, small mistakes, sudden outbursts, unwarranted frustrations, or undone chores start to accumulate, it can signal an underlying addiction.
- Loss of a social filter: when your loved one, friend, or coworker starts to say or do things that seem noticeably unfiltered (an inappropriate joke, an insensitive comment, an emotional explosion)—this could indicate they’re struggling with SUD.
Why Is My Loved One Hiding Their Addiction?
Shame is a driving force. Fear and anxiety are others. People are ashamed to admit they’ve become dependent on drugs, alcohol, sex, or social media. They may be afraid of judgment, or the loss of their livelihood. They may feel that admitting to addiction will damage the family dynamic or traumatize children.
It’s especially hard to admit you need help when you feel your life is out of your control. Pride, frustration, ego, and a sense of personal failure all play a part in hidden addictions. The important step to take is toward empathy. Try not to lose your patience with the person if you confront them and they deny the addiction—especially if you have come across hard evidence. Remember that if they are battling SUD, it’s your healthy support and boundaries—not your anger–that will guide them to treatment.
Guiding Your Family Member to Residential Treatment in Pennsylvania
We encourage anyone who suspects their loved one is hiding an addiction to contact us immediately. We can advise your next steps regarding getting a loved one (or yourself) into treatment. At St. Joseph, the goal is to acknowledge and eliminate addiction—and help you and your loved one do so as well.
