Not too long ago an insightful story by author David Sheff about his son’s battle against addiction was published in the New York Times. Sheff relays searching for his child at night, checking all the neighborhoods he knew he might frequent. Most of the time he never got a glimpse of his young adult son—who had recently turned 18. Sometimes he was lucky enough to find him. He’d try to convince him to go to residential addiction treatment to get help, but the answer was always a variation of the same: “No” or “You can’t make me.”
Sheff describes his agony as a parent: the anticipated and dreaded call that the authorities had found his son—and that he was no longer breathing. The horror and pain that the scenario generated for Sheff is something that millions of Americans with loved ones who have substance use disorder (SUD) feel daily.
If you’re not the parent, friend, loved one, or employer of an addicted person—you may be the one with SUD. If you can’t identify as knowing or being someone with SUD, you know a friend or family member who can. Addiction is all around us, and it begs the question: what do we do if people refuse to get help?
Why Is My Loved One Refusing Treatment?
Some of the top reasons that make addicted individuals refuse treatment boil down to:
- Being unable to imagine or understand that life can be lived in sobriety—due to the influence of the drug on the brain and nervous system
- Being unable to afford either inpatient or outpatient programs
- Believing that they cannot or should not rely on others to help them
- Believing that they have everything under control and/or not seeing how they could leave children, dependents, or a career unattended to opt for treatment
- Lacking the knowledge and resources to find and utilize treatment
- Fearing that people will find out that they struggle with SUD, leading to both perceived and real stigmatization
In the case of David Sheff’s son, the opioids that had affected his brain weren’t allowing him to make informed decisions. Too high and out of it to actually think clearly, his son admitted that decisions were nearly impossible to make—unless they involved securing drugs. For many like him, addiction can make the substance of choice become a need—like air for your lungs—rather than a desire. Your loved one may likely be refusing treatment because they feel the drug is fulfilling a need akin to hunger, sleep, water, and shelter.
Does Forcing Someone Into Treatment Work?
While it’s understandable that loved ones desperate to help their addicted family member would want to force them into treatment, a review of research on involuntary treatment shows that “Evidence does not, on the whole, suggest improved outcomes related to compulsory treatment approaches, with some studies suggesting potential harms.”
Nevertheless, forcing a loved one into treatment may be an option under the Involuntary Drug and Alcohol Treatment Program (IDAT) created in 2007. Minors aren’t subject to the IDAT. A person must be 18 or older for the law to kick in, and conditions must be dire on several fronts.
What Can I Do If I Can’t Force Treatment in Pennsylvania?
Firstly, contact us at our Port Matilda location, where we can advise you better regarding your unique case. Secondly, you can keep the following pointers in mind as you try to cope with your loved one’s SUD:
- Research all available treatment options and present them to your loved one; explain how they work, how you will pay for (or help pay for) them, how you will support your loved one while they are in treatment, and the ways that treatment will benefit their lives.
- Don’t take your loved one’s rejection of treatment personally; they’re mentally unwell and can’t think clearly.
- Set boundaries to ensure that you aren’t enabling your loved one’s substance addiction.
- Offer to attend a therapy session or a recovery meeting with them.
- Consider seeking out individual therapy for yourself and/or your family.
- Consider attending a support group like Al-Anon, created for friends and family members of people addicted to alcohol or drugs.
As hard as it can be to watch a loved one deteriorate from addiction, don’t lose hope. Getting motivated to seek help requires time and a series of changes. Our compassionate team at St. Joseph Institute can offer guidance as you navigate the journey.
