DanceThe third aspect of our True Self is our intuitive mind. While our reasoning mind takes a more active, conscious role, our intuitive mind is deeper and more subtle. Our intuitive mind works with both our unconscious and with the divine. It supports our spirituality and enables us to see beyond appearances to our deeper connections with each other and all of life.

The intuitive mind can enhance intimacy by helping us:

  • Participate in the wonder and awe of life
  • Develop a deeper intimate relationship with ourselves and with God
  • Go beyond the confines of human intellect, revealing insight and wisdom
  • Overcome old patterns of impaired intimacy
  • Learn to experience deeper levels of bonding and trusting

Just as with our feelings and reasoning mind, a dysfunctional intuitive mind has the capacity to impair intimacy. A dysfunctional intuitive mind is:

  • Prone to fantasy, taking you away from the reality of the situation and putting you at risk for disappointment due to unrealistic expectations
  • Captured by illusions of appearance, believing in what it sees rather than what it feels
  • Likely to cultivate selfishness or narcissism when it gets lost in a dream world

When we would rather experience phenomena than connect with people, or when choose to dream about perfect relationships rather than whole-heartedly engaging with the people in our lives, we are  taking away our intuitive mind’s ability to achieve insight and wisdom.

Fantasies arise when we re-imagine the past or create visions of the future. We typically engage in fantasy as a way to escape the bad feelings or thoughts of the present moment. We create a world in which we are always right and everyone who disagrees with us is wrong. We create a world in which our actions don’t have consequences. When we use our intuitive mind to escape the world rather than join with it, we are missing a chance for intimacy—and for a reality that is ultimately richer and more rewarding than any fantasy.

To cultivate a healthy intuitive mind, we can do the following:

  • Practice mindfulness. Meditation—taking time to rest in the present moment and observe the thoughts and feelings that arise—is the most obvious way to practice mindfulness. But any time we attend fully to what we are doing, taking in the sensations of the moment, we are cultivating mindfulness and discouraging fantasy.
  • Practice spirituality. However you experience the divine, allow yourself time to practice that connection as often as you can. Be open to experiencing the divine in ways you haven’t before, recognizing that we are all here together to learn, to grow, and to experience.