Watching a parent, child, friend, or other loved one struggle with a drug or alcohol addiction is like standing at the edge of a turbulent ocean. The ebb and flow of their battles mirrors the relentless push and pull of the tides—leaving you feeling overwhelmed by the ceaseless cycle.

When your loved one refuses to acknowledge their addiction and seek help, it’s understandable to wonder what your next steps should be. Let’s take a look at how you can support your loved one while guiding them toward the path of recovery. 

Overcoming Denial

Addiction is a disease that alters the brain’s chemistry and impairs judgment, making it difficult for the affected person to see the extent of their problem. Denial often serves as a defense mechanism, shielding your loved one from the pain and shame associated with their addiction.

Think of denial as a self-imposed cocoon that protects your loved one from the storm of consequences that addiction brings. It’s a place of refuge where they can momentarily escape society’s harsh judgment—and the judgment they impose upon themselves.

Open communication can help you break through this denial. A non-confrontational conversation lets you express your concern and support while continuing to stress the need for addiction treatment. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming or accusing. For example, you might say: 

“I’ve been seeing changes in your behavior that are concerning to me. I’ve seen how substance use has been affecting your work, relationships, and overall well-being. It’s not easy for me to bring this up, but I believe it’s important because I want to see you healthy and happy.

I understand that this might not feel serious from your perspective, but I’m genuinely worried about you. It’s not easy for me to see you going through this, and I want to offer my support in any way I can.

I’ve done some research and learned a lot about addiction and its effects. Addiction is something that can be challenging to overcome alone. I’m here to help you explore options. Let’s navigate through this together.”

Overcoming Denial and Promoting Addiction Recovery has more helpful tips on how to help your loved one acknowledge the severity of their substance use disorder. 

Planning an Intervention

When your loved one remains resistant to the idea of seeking treatment despite your ongoing attempts to break through their denial, an intervention might be a necessary step. Here’s a brief rundown of the intervention planning process:

1. Gather your intervention team. Enlist the help of friends and family members who have expressed concern. A unified support network can provide emotional reinforcement for both you and your loved one.
2. Consider consulting an intervention specialist. If you’re uncertain about organizing an intervention, consider involving a professional intervention specialist. They can provide guidance on planning, logistics, and communication strategies. A specialist can be particularly helpful if your loved one has co-occurring mental health conditions that make their behavior unpredictable or a potential safety risk
3. Choose the right environment. Select a neutral place for the intervention and a time when your loved one is most likely to be sober. Ensure that everyone involved maintains a calm and compassionate demeanor throughout the process.
4. Express concern and offer help. During the intervention, express your concern for your loved one’s well-being. Use specific examples to illustrate the impact of their addiction on themselves and those around them. Offer a prearranged treatment plan, such as a residential addiction treatment program, as a solution.
5. Outline the consequences of refusing to seek treatment. Express that you will need to limit or change the nature of your relationship with your loved one if they continue to avoid seeking help. This might involve reducing the frequency of communication, no longer providing financial assistance, or setting other types of boundaries that stop enabling behaviors. Stress that these consequences are not a punishment—they are a tool to help them understand the gravity of the situation and the positive impact of seeking help.

How to Plan an Intervention has more tips to guide you through the process of organizing an intervention for your loved one. 

Caring for Yourself

Throughout this process, it’s important not to neglect your own well-being. Supporting someone through addiction can be emotionally draining, so you want to ensure your self-care strategies are in place.

Here’s how to prioritize your own well-being during this difficult time:

• Set realistic expectations. Understand that you cannot control your loved one’s choices. Focus on providing support rather than trying to “fix” them, and acknowledge that their journey may have setbacks.
• Seek support from people who understand what you’re going through. Lean on friends, family members, or support groups who understand your situation. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who’ve been through similar challenges can provide validation and a sense of camaraderie. You may also want to consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who specializes in working with clients who love a person with a substance use disorder. 
• Take time for yourself. Make time to regularly engage in activities that rejuvenate your spirit, such as exercising, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy. Having time to yourself, even if it’s just a few hours each week, can help you recharge your batteries and feel better equipped to continue to support your loved one. 

We’re Here to Help

While the road ahead may be tough, we promise that the potential for a healthier, happier future is well worth the effort. Contact our admissions representatives today to learn more about how St. Joseph Institute’s Pennsylvania residential substance abuse treatment program can help your loved one build the foundation for lasting sobriety.