Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is categorized as a sustained, noticeable behavior on the part of an individual that involves being unable to control how much they drink or being unable to stop drinking despite the consequences. Examples of AUD behavior can include binge drinking, drinking and driving, or losing a job or custodial privileges due to drinking.
What many people would call alcoholism is the deepest stage of an AUD. A person reaches the point of alcoholism when they experience incredibly uncomfortable or dangerous withdrawal symptoms if they can’t drink.
Alcohol withdrawal symptoms include any of the following:
- Shakes/tremors
- Severe headache
- Insomnia
- Vomiting and/or diarrhea
- Profuse sweating and/or fever
- High blood pressure
- Increased heart rate
- Acute anxiety
- Confusion and/or hallucinations
- General flu symptoms
If your loved one experiences these symptoms upon reducing their alcohol consumption or quitting cold turkey, it’s safe to say they’re battling an acute AUD, and that the problem is serious. Luckily, we’re well-versed and properly equipped to care for your loved one while they detox from alcohol.
Are You A Part Of The Problem?
Often when we see a loved one suffer through and from the consequences of an AUD, the first instinct we might have is to support and stand by them. While many forms of support can seem healthy and admirable–lending money, providing shelter and food, offering childcare, etc.–sometimes these loving actions do more harm than good.
Enabling your loved one’s AUD—or allowing them to continue abusing their substance of choice without real consequence—is adding to the problem. If you’re enabling, you’re doing for the person what they can’t do for themselves because of their alcohol dependence. An easy way to tell if you’re part of the issue is to ask yourself if this person could do what you do for them by themselves if they were sober. If the answer is yes, you’re enabling.
Remember: once you’re better versed in recovery education, you’ll see more clearly that supporting someone with AUD in a healthy way never involves shielding the person from the consequences of their actions. If it feels really hard to stop enabling, you could be dealing with a codependent dynamic. This is common, and we have all the tools within our St. Joseph Institute family program to guide you through overcoming that dynamic and creating a healthy one in its place.
How Do I Deal With Their Attempts To Manipulate Me?
Many in the scientific community are aware that addiction and AUD affect the entire family. People who are suffering from addiction behave in ways that compromise their relationships and erode trust. It can be difficult to tell sometimes if your addicted loved one is lying to you about their alcohol use or about anything related to it. The best thing you can do for yourself and your loved one is to set boundaries.
Here are some good boundaries to start with:
- You will not interact with them when they are drunk.
- You will not allow them to drink in your home.
- You will not cover for them or make excuses for their behavior (e.g., calling off work for them, lying for them to keep other friends and family members from finding out about their addiction, etc.)
- You will not lend them money or help with their responsibilities until they commit to treatment and recovery
If your loved one cannot accept these boundaries, you may have to do things like create a separate bank account that they cannot access or even change the locks on your home. You will also want to seek out counseling for yourself to learn more about your own patterns in dealing with your family member. You can also get support from others in your situation at Al-Anon meetings in your area or online.
While these steps can seem overwhelming, they’re for the best. If you’re at a total loss about how to proceed, we highly recommend checking out our alcohol addiction treatment program to understand the next steps in receiving support.
Find Support For Coping With A Family Member With AUD in Port Matilda, PA
We’re always here to lend a hand and listen to what you’re going through at our Port Matilda recovery center in Pennsylvania. Our medical staff, licensed counselors, and an immense body of resources will be a part of your toolkit moving forward. Contact us online or by phone today!
