Part of the reason why it’s so hard for people with alcohol use disorders to manage their condition is that the idea of drinking is deeply embedded in our culture. Movies and TV shows show characters having fun by depicting lively gatherings with clinking glasses, laand ughter filling the air. From toasting at weddings and New Year’s Eve celebrations to tailgating at sports events and barbecues, there’s no doubt that alcohol plays a central role in marking many of our special occasions and social interactions.
When you’re in the early stages of recovery, you’re often told to avoid situations that will tempt you to use again. However, if your friends still drink, steering clear of events where alcohol will be served might not feel like a feasible long-term option.
Tips to Help You Stay Sober When Your Friends Still Drink
How can you spend time with the people you care about without putting your recovery at risk? Here are some tips to consider:
- Establish firm boundaries. Clearly define your boundaries and communicate them to your friends. Let them know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. This can include asking them not to offer you alcohol or to avoid discussing drinking-related topics. Be honest about what you need, and don’t apologize for putting your sobriety first.
- Plan ahead. Before attending an event or gathering where alcohol will be present, have a plan in place. Consider how long you’ll stay, who you can rely on for support, and how you’ll handle any potential triggers. You should also have a plan for how you can exit the situation gracefully. Create an excuse in advance or ask a trusted friend to help you leave if needed.
- Bring your own alcohol-free beverage options. Having an alternative drink in your hand can help you feel included and minimize the pressure to join in drinking alcohol. From festive non-alcohol holiday drink options to flavorful mocktails, there are options to suit everyone’s unique tastes. Bring enough to share, and you may convince others to join you in staying sober.
- Stay mindful. When you’re at an event where alcohol is being served, it’s important to stay aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Practicing mindfulness can help you recognize any cravings or triggers as they arise, allowing you to respond in a healthy and constructive manner. Urge surfing is a particularly effective technique to consider.
- Lean on your support system. It’s a good idea to reach out to your support system when you’re feeling vulnerable or tempted. This can include a 12-Step sponsor, a trusted friend, or a therapist. Having someone to talk to who understands your journey can help you navigate the situation with confidence.
- Suggest activities that don’t involve alcohol. Don’t be afraid to plan outings, game nights, or other social events that focus on shared interests and experiences that don’t revolve around drinking. Show everyone around you that you don’t need to drink to have fun.
Dealing With Friends Who Pressure You to Drink
Things become more complicated if your friends are disrespecting your recovery journey and pressuring you to drink by claiming “just one” won’t hurt or that “you’re no fun” now that you’re sober. This behavior is certainly upsetting, but it’s important to remember that their motivations may not always be malicious or intentional. Here are some possible reasons your friends might be pressuring you to drink:
- Lack of understanding about the nature of addiction. Alcohol use disorders are complex chronic illnesses, and your friends might not comprehend the importance of your recovery. They may not fully grasp the impact of alcohol on your life or the reasons behind your decision to abstain.
- Fear of change. Your recovery might be perceived as a change in the dynamics of your friendship. Some friends might resist or pressure you to drink as a way to maintain the status quo and avoid facing the adjustments that come with your sobriety.
- Personal insecurities related to their own drinking habits. Someone who is struggling to regulate their own alcohol consumption and drinking as a coping mechanism might feel threatened when they see you thriving in recovery. They may project their own insecurities onto you by pressuring you to drink.
Sharing your recovery story and setting firm boundaries is the best way to get your message across. However, it’s important to remember that true friends want to see you happy and thriving. If a friend continues to pressure you to drink or otherwise put your recovery at risk, it’s time to reconsider if the relationship is worth continuing. Focusing on making friends who support your recovery may be a better option.
Let Us Help You Find Success on Your Recovery Journey
At St. Joseph Institute, we believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to lead a life free from the burdens of substance abuse. Our Pennsylvania residential addiction treatment center helps men and women with substance use disorders build the foundation for a lasting recovery by focusing on developing healthy lifestyle habits, clearly communicating their needs, and creating a strong support network. Contact us today to learn more.
