Enabling is often unintentional—and generally comes from a place of love. You hate to see your loved one suffer and want to make their life more manageable, but your actions cause more harm on a long-term basis. Some signs that you may be enabling your loved one’s addiction include:
- You let them drink or use in your home because that seems safer than having them get drunk or high someplace else.
- You avoid confrontation by leaving the room when they’re using or ignoring signs that they are under the influence.
- You make excuses when they skip social commitments due to their addiction.
- You justify their behavior by saying that they only abuse drugs and alcohol because they have chronic pain, a stressful job, etc.
- You compare their behavior to other people you know to try to make it seem like their drug or alcohol use is not a “real” problem.
- You take on extra chores or responsibilities because they can’t be trusted to follow through when they promise to do something.
- You loan them money or pay bills on their behalf even though you know they’re spending their own income on drugs and alcohol.
- You’ve bailed them out of jail or hired a lawyer to reduce the consequences associated with charges for drunk driving, drug possession, or other similar addiction-related offenses.
- You’re always giving them one “last chance” to change their behavior.
- You put their needs before your own—and your mental health is suffering as a result.
Stop Enabling — Here’s How to Support a Loved One’s Recovery
While you should avoid enabling your loved one’s addiction, that doesn’t mean you need to cease contact. In fact, you can play a vital role in their recovery process by taking rational steps to address the problem and acting as a sober role model. Here are some ways to support your loved one’s recovery:
- Do not allow them to use drugs or alcohol in your home. If they don’t live with you, do not allow them to visit your home when they are under the influence.
- Talk to your loved one about what is bothering them in a calm, non-judgmental way. If they aren’t interested in talking, don’t give up. Keep the lines of communication open.
- Contact friends and family who have noticed concerning behaviors and work together to plan an intervention that will urge your loved one to seek treatment.
- Learn about the disease of addiction, so you aren’t making decisions based on myths or stigma. Share what you’ve learned with others who can help encourage your loved one to seek treatment.
- Do not loan money to your loved one with an active addiction, lie on their behalf, or complete chores they have failed to do. Let them experience the consequences of their actions.
- Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Let your loved one know that you care about their well-being, but you’re no longer willing to stand by while they continue down a self-destructive bath.
- If your loved one agrees to go to treatment, participate in any family therapy programs that are available.
- If your loved one has recently graduated from treatment, help them create a daily routine that reinforces the wellness-focused lifestyle habits that are the foundation for lasting sobriety. If necessary, help them make appointments to access any community-based resources that are relevant to their specific needs.
- Make time for self-care and seek out support from resources such as Al-Anon. Instead of viewing self-care as selfish, recognize that making your well-being a priority allows you to more effectively support your loved one during their recovery journey.
We’re Here to Help
Loving someone with a substance use disorder can be stressful, but it’s important to realize the difference between supporting and enabling. Not only that but know there’s always hope for recovery. No matter what challenges your loved one has faced in the past, they can recover with access to evidence-based care that is personalized to fit their unique needs.
At St. Joseph Institute for Addiction, we offer a full continuum of care for men and women struggling with substance use disorders. Our Pennsylvania drug and alcohol addiction treatment center provides detox services as well as individual and group counseling, chronic pain management, and recovery education. Graduates have access to continuing care and relapse prevention services designed to support their transition back to independent living. Contact us today to learn more about how our services can help your loved one take the first steps toward a brighter future.
Looking for addiction treatment near Altoona, PA? To learn more about SJI Pennsylvania addiction rehab, and our programs, please contact us at (814) 228-8881.
